This is where we will provide the most important announcements. Right now, nothing is most important.

THE UNISCORN GROUP

Uniscorn was founded at the intersection of global corporate disillusionment and our in-house statistical expertise. Our team consists of Noobel Prize winners from six continents and 5 countries. It was their hypermetropic vision that defined that we should and would be a nonprofit from Day 1. True to their hypotheses, we have built a culture of burning midnight oil and someone’s cash.We're not here to change the world, nor to point out why someone's PowerPoint presentation probably won't either.

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Our work is important.

We transform complex business realities into painfully accurate observations, backed by real data that nobody asked for but everyone needs to hear.Our premier clients include:

  • Companies that say, "we're like a family" but have a 60% turnover rate

  • Leaders who struggle with complex words with ‘e’ like collaborative, Elon, synergy, efficiency, MeToo, coffee, green, revenue

  • Anyone who's ever written "thought leader" in their bio

  • Organizations with more chief officers than actual income

  • Non-designer executives who can’t read or create charts

AND We have important teams.

Some of them are:

  • Department of Org Chart Dissection (OCD)

  • Department of Food for Thought

  • Peeconomic Committee

  • Department of Compensation Denial (DeCoDe)

  • Business Explosion Team

  • Human Restore (HR) Department

  • Emoji World Workgroup (EWW™️)

  • Worldwide Target Evasion (WoTEva) Committee

  • Financial Derailment Institution (FDI)

  • Business DeDevelopment (BD) Team

  • Organizational Paralysis Analytics (OPA) Team

  • Misery Metrics (MM) Team

  • Department of Neuropsychopathy

  • Corporate Depression Control (CDC) Team

  • Committee of Retrospective Estimates (CoRE)

  • Network Experiments and Logistics (NEL) Labs

  • Employee Efficiency Research Institute (EERIe)

  • Calorie Intake Institute (CII)

  • Center of Human Research Operations (CHRO)

  • Email Etiquette Labs (EmaEL)

  • International Trends Forecasting (ITF) Team

  • Department of Organizational Reality (DoOR)

  • Institute of Perpetual Productivity, Pennsylvania (IPPP)

AND important people.

Since we are largely a humble and secret organisation, we don't reveal a lot of names. But some of our PhDs include:

  • Dr Reed E Kule (CEO)

  • Dr Scal Pél (Department of Org Chart Dissection (OCD))

  • Dr Très Loco (Department of Neuropsychopathy)

  • Dr Luke Ingavé (Astronomical Growth Sciences) [Fired and replaced by:]

  • Dr Crystal Ballpark (Astronomical Growth Sciences)

  • Dr Tram Pawline (Strategic Animal Solutions)

  • Dr Cal Cy (Accounting)

  • Dr Moc Kerry (Homo Scoffus)

  • Dr Make B. Elieve (HR)

  • Dr Can'tally Rows (Financial Derailment)

  • Dr Undo Jefferson (Paralysis Analytics)

  • Dr EC Calmweather (Meteorology, CloudTech)

  • Dr HG Mercury (Email Etiquette)

  • Dr Andre Siesta (Sleep Science)

Some deserve less recognition, but still have to make the list because of their likeness by the boss:

  • Noggin von Snackenheimer (Food for Thought)

  • Miguel Ennui (Director of Tring Tring)

  • Vue Wing (CCTV Manager)

  • Megha Bytes (IT and Dating Joint-Division)

  • Turnov Ercoming (HR)

  • Jane Cheapaper (Head, Ultrasonic Bargain Division)

SCIENTIFIC DATA, RESEARCH, ANALYSIS.

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